I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
