I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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