dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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