Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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