It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
