My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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