god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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