Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
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Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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