best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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