so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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