Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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