Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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