Who did Billy Mays play for?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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