Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
