WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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