In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
im holly from the hills drunk
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize