I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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