If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
