1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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