He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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