i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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