So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
