Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
