You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
