This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
