3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
