if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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