"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
