I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
