I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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