maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
