Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
