Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
