Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
