Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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