Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
