He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
