census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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