i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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