mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
