so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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