my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize