Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
