Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
