where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
