You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
