3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
