I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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