Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
