At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
