and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
