did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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