ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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