Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
