ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
