I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
