I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
