I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
