i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
