I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
All the doctor said was why
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
