VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
