Do you still have your period?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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