i just google imaged poop.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
