Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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