Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
