I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
